Nothing is Trivial: Dear Momma
by Mr Ug
Summary: The consequences of choices made live, forever. Sequel to Nothing is Trivial: Seeds of Memory.
1. Dear Momma

**Been awhile so potential One Shot but may build on this ...**

* * *

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Tupac - Dear Mama Instrumental*_

 _"I don't know if you will read this …At times I don't know if you will even care if these words reach you."  
_  
Antiquated as it was, the words poured onto the parchment as easy as the blood that had been spilled throughout his life. Flickering as the artificial light bounced over each written curve, his eyes traced the lettering even as his drifted to another time, a simpler time …

 _"I know I've been your Hell. That the path I took that lead me here isn't what you wanted for me … "_

Interrupting his thoughts, the periodic clanging of lost souls searching for a physical exit from the purgatory of their own creation, he trained his focus on the single reprieve before him.

 _"I blamed you for many things … For many things that I couldn't control or understand that still tear at me. My faults, my shortcomings, I blamed you for many things … And now, only now do I understand that it isn't easy for a woman to try and raise a man …"_ He scratched as best he could as the gnawing pain rose in his appendages.

 _"I hoped that I could take the pain away … To show you that there is a something more out there for you than you would allow yourself to see. But all I did was add to it, and in the end maybe this will give you the peace that my existence never could."_

Visions of a past from long ago filled his mind … if only the momentary tranquility they provided would have been sufficient to calm the burning anger that was ever-present during his existence. Fleeting emotions that left as soon as they came, but their remnants lingered as they pulled at soul he had left.

 _"And even as the Hallex took so much of you away from me, you gave what you could even if I refused to see it. My anger that has always gotten the best of me was never meant for you …"_ Pressing harder than what was necessary; he crushed the tip of the instrument he procured _._

Dejected as he looked on at what he had done, he began the painful process of grinding a new point with his now bloodied fingers. Each turn took its share of flesh but he remained undeterred.

"Sticks and stones …" He quietly crowed repeatedly, the words etched into the shadows of a past he had tried to suppress with the passage of time.

Finally with his labor completed, he turned his attention to the entrance of his abode. Stained with more than just decorative colorings, it beckoned to him as the hour drew near. Slightly shaking his head as a soft chuckle left his gullet, he turned back to the crude table he had pressed into service. Drawing in a deep breath, he focused his attention and continued.

 _"My anger, my pain … it has always been for him and no matter what is said, I can't and never will feel for the stranger that he has always been to me. But even through all of this, through everything that you will hear about me and what I have done, never forget that what you tried to give me has always been appreciated. "_

"It's time …" A lone figure spoke as he peered though the bars, blocking the bit of light that had managed to sneak into the forlorn pace.

Nodding in silent recognition that the hour had finally come, he quickly turned his attention back to what had seemed to take a lifetime to complete. With a final breath of emotion he scribbled a short verse.

 _"I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't…"_

The door opened with a strong creaking sound as if it had never been open since the last cycle that had cursed the living to death by the Reapers. A threat ended by the one who has become known as _The Shepard_ , but to him, a hated memory of a ghost known only as _Father_.

Turning quickly as he took up the words that he could never find the strength to utter, he approached the lone figure whom he had come to an understanding of sorts with the situation they both found themselves in.

"Please, get this to the Quarians. They'll know what to do."

Relinquishing it slowing, the carrier nodded in silence as the author proceeded past into a world that had always been alien to him. For a brief moment in his life, clarity entered his mind as his destination was revealed…The Gallows.

Looking down at the single page in his hand, the sentry studied the leading words as the intended recipient was revealed to him …

 _" Dear Mama …"_


	2. The Day That Never Comes

The sky had brightened, standing as a stark contrast to the normal state of the surroundings that had entombed more than its fair share of the hopes and dreams of those unfortunate souls who found themselves in its confines. For crimes actual and imagined, they were forever trapped until they were called forward to make the ultimate penance. Lost in this reality was a minor sense of calm that managed to find its way into this forsaken place.

Moving forward, her presence was not lost to him.

Her face un-ravaged by the passage of time, his eyes never lost sight of her as she moved through the crowd. A small smile crossed the side of his parched lips as a fleeting memory drifting into his mind; a memory of a time, a happier time, where he was able to be only a man, and her, a woman.

The stark nature of this forsaken place was not lost on her, but her resolve remained true. She knew that even with his words wishing that she would not be there, his heart spoke otherwise. Looking at him as he made his way towards what was predestined, she caught the glimmer of what was the familiar partial grin he had given many times in her direction. A sense of knowing present that had always caused her heart to skip a beat, even in this dark hour didn't fail to elicit the same emotion.

 _'I'm here …'_ Her thoughts spoke as if to reach out to him as if being some form of comfort. As she made her way through the gathering of onlookers, her light touch moved them aside as easily as the wind would sweep the fallen leaves of this world.

In a universe gone mad with hatred and fear, her presence was the one constant he could rely on.

"Up ya go!" Bellowed the guard as he forcefully pushed him forward.

In another time, another place, he would have paid for that insult with possibly his life. Now, it was the nuisance of the planet's sun that he wish he could seek a level of satisfaction against. Its glare at this hour blocking his view, he squinted mightily to get a clear view, any view, of her.

Instead he was greeted with the remnants of a fallen people.

 _' Funny … this is all that remains …'_

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Metallica – The Day that Never Comes*_

There were no more _fortunate sons_ , save those whose lot allowed them to take from those who didn't have the strength to resist. These days, those left who were mere cattle for the dwindling strong were becoming few and far between.

The means of his end was quaint by today's standards. Guided roughly over his head, the apparatus was adjusted several times before a suitable location was found. Pulling curtly down on the rope, it cinched into place as his gullet bulked slightly from the force. Drawing a slight grin from his executioner, his gaze was met with spit, drawing a cheer from those young and old gathered to see the spectacle.

In these days of _The End_ as it was being called, it was not uncommon to see what was left enjoying any form reprieve from the horrors of their existence, even at the cost of life.

Holding back her emotions as the merriment of the mob stabbed at her, she forced herself ever forward till she was at the front most position possible. Or, as the female Turian beside her yelled through her mucus filled teeth,

"Best seat in the house!"

The vitriol that infected the crowd was almost hypnotic in a way. It ebbed and flowed like the former vast oceans on many dying worlds, but never lost its base level of hate.

She knew his deeds would be reviled. She always knew …

And yet she hoped against hope that the glimmer she saw in him would translate into the greatness that all those in the galaxy needed with the passage of time. An evil deed done so that which is good in all is never lost. But this never came to pass, and in the end, would only foster a final judgement to be visited on these remaining worlds.

Starving of both physical and emotional nourishment, a more primitive state of mind had overtaken many of the remaining souls. Yet, her mind and resolve remained clear.

Most of all that remained however was her love for the man before her.

Raising his eyes to finally meet hers unimpeded as the sun had waned in its intensity, he silently mouthed the words he took it upon himself to say to her during a more private time when the world only seemed to contain him and her. Caught up in the moment, her emotions flowed down her cheeks as she slowly moved her lips in response.

A response lost in the crackle of a rope and the scream of a lone Asari ...

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Metallica – The Day that Never Comes Fade Out at 3:15*_


	3. Of Curses and Shadows

_*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Metallica – Fade to Black – Fade out at 3:15 *_

The wind-swept stoop had long ago exposed its foundation as the dust gathered haphazardly. Left to its own devices, the substance would in time bury what had been painstakingly built. But as with all things, what lay beneath could only be masked at best, or so the haggard human thought as he swept away the new accumulation. His labor complete, he returned the instrument of his toil back to its resting place before proceeding into his dwelling. Picking up its fury as if in response to his efforts, nature would again cover what had been fashioned in a forlorn effort as it had always done, and always will.

The dwelling would be considered Spartan in its accommodations even by the most hardened Krogan save for a singular frame that he retained. Its condition near pristine, its presence was both a comfort and a curse.

 _His Curse._

Pausing briefly as he walked pass this memento, he traced his fingers over the outer casing as he had done on numerous occasions. Lost briefly in thought as the sensation filled his senses, he abruptly returned to the reality that he could not escape no matter how he tried. Tapping lightly on its summit, he moved further into his domicile as the natural light that permeated throughout his villa cast various shadows in response to his presence.

Light gave way to shadow as the day slowly retreated away from his accursed abode, allowing a darkness to creep which was only outdone by what existed in his soul.

Sitting in a purposely uncomfortable chair, the familiar stabbing pain in his upper arm was a reminder of the toll paid by his body long ago.

Silence being one of his few companions these days, its presence ever deafening to the world that now surrounded him, he reached out for the other two.

Strong in nature, he poured the potent substance with renewed vigor before downing the noxious fluid.

Its effects long since dormant in his system, his actions were reflexive in nature like an animal attempting to lick an amputated limb. Searching for some form of solace, he forced down more of the mixture as the contents of the flask slowly disappeared whilst his memories remained evermore.

Seething with energy that failed to bring forth anything more than a knowing regret, he stared blankly into his personal abyss …

 _Shadows …_

Shadows of those who fell against his wrath...

 _Shadows …_

Shadows of friends long departed …

 _Shadows …_

The wind swept the land clear of vestiges of what was once a paradise. Now, only a fallen creation.

Its subtle howling as if the ghost of those returned to the dust from hence they came providing the only acknowledgement of the turmoil that was ever present in his soul. Tearing at him, what remained was only a shadow of what once was before.

Before _The End._

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Metallica – Fade to Black – Fade out at 3:15 *_

Moving back outside into a world made out of the madness he created, he reached for an instrument given to him long ago by a person whose memory was both a joy and a curse.

Adjusting it ever slightly as he had done for countless days that have passed, he gently strummed a refrain.

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Killswitch Engage – My Curse : Guitar intro 17 secs, repeated over and over*_

The notes effortlessly leaving his hands as they had done for many ages, he continued with the same melody over and over as his mind drifted to what was a long-lost time in his life. His monotony continued as it had before long into the twilight hours of this world's day until he noticed an effective change in the scenery slowly approaching.

Hooded and walking with an aurora of grace that stood in stark contrast to his surroundings, the lithe figure approached.

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Killswitch Engage – My Curse : Fade out *_

Familiar with its gait, he studied their approached with an interest that he had not felt since before his coming to this place, since before _The End_.

Placing his instrument of melancholy to his side, he leaned forward as he stared at the soul that drew near. Roughly drawing his hands through his hair, he chuckled with no heartfelt humor in his voice as he looked at the ground, the figure stopping its approach mere feet from him. His gaze firmly planted at the soil before him, he was oblivious to the tears streaming slowing down the figure's cheek.

Clenching his fists as if to grasp a moment in time, he uttered callously soft spoken words, words he thought would never be spoken in that manner.

"What the fuck are you doing on Rannoch, _Liara_?"


	4. At the Precipice

There are many worlds in the galaxy. Many worlds that possess life that is oblivious to the trepidations of a man whose was dedicated to the saving of the multitudes that he never knew. The struggles, the sacrifices, and the never ending loss that encompassed all that he was for a critical moment in time became his normal state of being.

And yet, he failed …

The wind had quieted down now as if to acknowledge the greater cries springing forth from his soul. Staring down at the chasm before him which a long lost set of beautiful alien eyes had claimed as hers, his body felt the familiar sting of a previous attempt that knowingly was doomed from the start. The walk back had been more eventful than the impact that had incapacitated him for the better part of a day as the effects of the weeklong binge he had been on began to where off.

But ultimately, he failed …

He took to a periodic reflection at the precipice that would last sometimes for hours on end as light of this world traveled across the sky. Forlorn in its travel, its state was a reflection on the reality of his existence. An existence marred only by the deafening silence that his self-made prison provided.

 _I failed …_

His thoughts betrayed him as in a moment of weakness his innermost desire became prevalent on the corner of his eyes. The stain of fresh liquid, shed before only in times when his demons could not be chased away by his ritualistic consummation of the foul substance that provided no sustenance, became prevalent as he stared off in the distance at the sun of this failed creation. A creation that he had sacrificed everything for.

Reaching downward, he grasped a familiar object. Showing signs of age from the ravages of time that had long ago ceased to affect him, he studied its structure as he had done many times before as if it was new. Moving his fingers slowly over the face of the item, his fingers traced out a known image that had been burned into the deepest recesses of his mind, and his heart.

Abruptly he stopped his task as he reached a knurled section. It had been many years since he had the compulsion to continue beyond this point. Before, it was all he could do to keep his sanity as time ravaged all that could be affected. And yet, the courage he had used to crush those who would destroy all that he had held dear had left him.

But things change …

Renewed with a vigor he had not felt for a long time, he let out a slow breath as he pressed his finger into the ridge and awaited a response. Retorting as if it had long since gone dormant, the image before him flickered as life returned to the holoframe.

Time stood still for the former commander …

The crackle of the image as the power source fought to provide life became evident, and yet to him it was far clearer than the reality before him. His gaze took him beyond the image, beyond time and space, his mind drifting to what had long ago been buried beneath the sands of time …

And regret …

* * *

She knew that her presence was unwanted.

The penance that she knew he felt must be paid was what drove him to continue forward into a future devoid of the joy that life had held for him long ago. His visage was that of a haggard man even if his body shown no signs of aging that had turned most remains into dust now.

His gate was slower than she remembered, more lumbering than needed as if the weight of choices made long ago were an albatross that bore the weight of the galaxy that had looked to him as its savior.

If only Death would have took him as it had done to so many others she had often thought in her nights alone as she watched over him.

Ever vigilant was her gaze on his plight, only now had the time come where she had the strength to face him. Strength that she wished would have been there long ago when he needed it the most.

 _And yet purpose can drive strength_ …

Shaking her head, she pushed out the thought. Now was the time that mattered and she would make the most of it.

"Shepard?" she inquired softly as she slowly drew near to his side.

The words had fallen on a deaf heart, even if his ears heard every note that her voice sung.

Several minutes passed as an uneasy silence formed between the space that divided them more so than just physically. Continuing his monotony, he barely moved in response. Reaching down again for that courage that had brought her to Rannoch in the first place, she was interrupted as she started to speak.

 _*BACKGROUND MUSIC: Pilot Speed – Alright*_

"I came here long ago. To this day I still don't know why…"

Another silence fell on the two souls that felt like an eternity before he started again as they stood at the edge of the bluff.

"Sometimes I wake up and find myself here, and I don't know how I got here. Maybe it's the view …" he said in a moment of dark jest as he chucked a rock over the side. Something that Liara believed he must have done numerous times.

"But no matter where I go Liara, I am always _there_. I'll always be _there._ "

"Shepard … I know it's not –" Liara said before her words were cutoff as he continued in the same monotone manner.

"I told her that I would always come for her. That I would always be here for – "

His words becoming caught in his throat as he grasped the frame tightly, biotic reaper-enforced energy surged in his eyes. His gave never left its previous position, frozen in the same manner as he probably wished the better times spent had been before _The End_ , or so Liara thought.

"In the end, nothing we did mattered, did it? I still failed, not only her … but everyone." His question breaking in his throat just as the waves were doing below.

Moving carefully closer to his side, Liara reached slowly as she had done once when her touch signified something more than just a friendly level of care in his direction. Squeezing his shoulder in that same comforting motion, he continued his stoic gaze over the edge, unmoved by her gesture.

"Shepard I came here because there is something you need to know about that day and every one since ..."

Still unmoved by Liara's emotion laced words, his thoughts continued on the same path they had as before until interrupted by an unexpected but faintly familiar sound, a glimmer shining brightly from the same direction.

"Maybe it would be better if I explained, Shepard Commander. "


End file.
